


shots of inspiration

by iceinmyveins



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-04 19:47:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6673261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iceinmyveins/pseuds/iceinmyveins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>A series of Tobin and Christen one shots, that may or may not be related, inspired by quotes and lyrics</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Inspired by: “I realized I was thinking of you and I began to wonder how long you’d been on my mind. Then it occurred to me: Since I met you, you’ve never left.” -Unknown_

Tobin shivered slightly, snuggling into the thin material of her flannel. She wasn’t cold persay, but the sudden breeze of the cool night air was enough to make her body respond involuntarily. Leaning closer to the pit of flames in front of her, she relishes the warmth. She doesn’t know why she’s cold in all honesty, it’s a summer night in Los Angeles and she’s sitting reaching distance away from a bonfire.

Maybe it’s the ocean breeze and the salty smell of the air that makes her feel so alive. Maybe it’s the way the sand feels between her toes as she digs her feet in the sand and draws patterns lazily. Maybe it’s the company she’s surrounded by; the laughter and alcohol creating a slightly hazy atmosphere. Maybe it’s the sadness she feels when she thinks about the past month, losing two of her closest friends on the national team, one for good and one indefinitely, and becoming a newly single woman.

The shiver of anticipation that creates goosebumps along her skin could be caused by any of those reasons and she’s sure, to some degree, they are factors, but she knows none of them are the main cause. That title belongs to the woman sitting across the circle of people huddled around the bonfire. It’s the smile she gets from the dark brunette beauty over the dancing flames that creates this feeling. It’s strange, coursing through her like ice, but filling her with a fire she can’t place.

It’s familiar and foreign at the same time. She knows she’s felt something like this before, on multiple occasions, but never quite as strong as tonight. Tobin can feel the hairs on her arms sticking up, making her skin more sensitive to the material of her flannel. She knows she has felt this sensation budding in her stomach and spreading to her chest before, but tonight her senses are on overload. It might be the alcohol, but she’s not sure that’s the only reason.

It might be the freedom she feels now. Now, she can even entertain this feeling instead of having to push it down and lock it away. The alcohol is only further encouraging her to embrace and explore it. If she’s honest, she’s experienced this feeling more times than she’d care to admit and she almost feels guilty about it. But she can’t help how she feels and she can’t help how her body reacts, so there’s no point in dwelling on it now. She does wonder how long this, whatever it is, has been going on though.

Did it start a few months ago? During the World Cup?

 ~

_Tobin took a deep breath, trying to hold in her tears, but failing miserably. The hard work and sacrifice she had dedicated to the sport she loved had finally paid off on the biggest stage possible. She was a World Champion. The United States Women’s National Team had won the World Cup. Finally, after all these years, they’d done it._

_The wave of emotions hit her like a truck as she ran around to her teammates to hug each of them. She spent a majority of her time with Lauren and Amy, having known it was Lauren’s final game in a big competition and they had just won it all. She cried wrapped in their arms, but once she was able to calm down, the celebrating begun._

_She turned into a smiling, dancing child as she jumped around the pitch from embrace to embrace. She waved wildly at her family, making heart signs and dancing to the music. She’d been in her own world trying to wrap her mind around what had just unfolded when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning around, her smile grew impossibly bigger._

_“WE WON!” Tobin shouted as she threw her arms around the person._

_“Yeah,” Christen confirmed, nodding into her shoulder. She too was still trying to get a grasp of the situation. “We’re World Cup Champions.” Tobin can feel the vibrations of her awe filled voice against her skin and that acute feeling simmers in the very pit of her stomach. As much as she would like to say it that was the first time, it wasn’t._

_“We did it, Presi!” Tobin exclaims, pulling away. She has to get away because the simmer is turning into a boil and she has to turn off the stove so nothing explodes._

_“I, just, I can’t believe it, you know? It seems surreal. Like this is all a dream and I’ll wake up tomorrow and none of this happened,” Christen says, her eyes starting to water. Tobin thinks she won’t be able to handle seeing Christen cry, no she knows she won’t be able to handle it.l, so she does the only thing she can think of._

_“OW!” Christen yelps when Tobin pinches her arm._

_Tobin smiles cheekily, “Guess you’re not dreaming.”_

_“You’re the worst,” Christen grumbles, rubbing her arm. She has a smile on her face, so Tobin knows she’s not really upset with her._

_“No, I’m a World Champion,” Tobin smirks, pointing at the black shirt with gold lettering._

_“You are so lame,” Christen giggles, shaking her head. And as hard as Tobin tries to repress the feeling, it’s to no avail because it’s back as soon as she hears the laughter of the girl in front of her._

 ~

No, she’d been very much aware of it by then and had even started to acknowledge that something was there. By that time, it was hitting her full force, so it had to have been earlier.

Maybe it was Algarve. Their dynamic had shifted ever so slightly, but no one would have noticed if they weren’t looking for it. Tobin and Christen barely noticed it themselves, but their relationship was different.

 ~

_Tobin tensed when she felt a hand slide across her lower back. She knew who its owner was and could feel the heat burning through the material of her shirt. Forcing herself to relax and remain collected, she turned to face the pretty eyed footballer._

_“Hey, what’s up?” Tobin asks._

_“Nothing, I was just wondering if you wanted to grab some coffee before practice?” Christen replies, shrugging._

_“Sure, caffeine sounds like a godsend right now,” Tobin readily agrees already knowing exactly what she wanted._

_“Great, let me grab my wallet really quickly and we can walk to the coffee shop a few blocks down,” Christen smiles, tapping Tobin’s arm lightly. She’s starting to turn towards the elevator when Tobin stops her._

_“Don’t worry about it, I’ll pay,” Tobin says._

_Christen pivots back to face Tobin, biting her lip, “Are you sure? It will only take a few minutes to grab my wallet.”_

_“Yeah, you can just pay next time. It’s not like you can avoid it, I’d hold it over you forever and get the rest of the team to nag you about it,” Tobin winks, assuring her._

_“Okay, then let’s go,” Christen says brightly, grabbing Tobin’s hand to lead her toward the door. Christen lets go after a few strides but the damage is already done. Tobin can feel that feeling building in her stomach and her hand feels like it’s tingling._

_“So since you're paying, I'm gonna get the most expensive thing on the menu,” Christen teases as they stroll down the sidewalk._

_“No, you’re getting the smallest size and the cheapest kind of coffee they have. I'm talking the watered down stuff,” Tobin smirks, playing along._

_“Oh, wow thank you Sugar Daddy, that's so generous,” Christen mocks, rolling her eyes._

_“I know, I'm a giver. If you're good I'll even throw in a party or a muffin,” Tobin winks._

_“I guess I'll be on my best behavior then, Sugar Daddy,” Christen laughs, placing a hand on Tobin’s arm._

_It takes all Tobin has not to flex tensely, but she succeeds. Opting to ignore the burn of Christen’s skin against her own, she’s thankful that they’ve arrived at the cafe because it abruptly ends the conversation. She isn’t sure what just happened between them, but there’s an acute tension between them. They’ve joked like that before, but the undertones of that particular instance are different and Tobin can’t figure out why._

 ~

Though now she knows why it felt different, Tobin knows it didn’t start then either. She’d been feeling the effects of Christen long before that day..

Maybe it was France. They had been roommates during the tournament, so maybe all that time together bonded them.

 ~

_“Just take the picture!” Christen laughs at Tobin’s antics._

_“I’m trying to get in the perfect position so the lighting is just right! This has to be nice if you’re giving me photocreds, I don’t want my name attached to a bad picture of THE Christen Press. How will I ever have a career as a photographer?” Tobin teases._

_“You’re annoying, just take the picture. Hurry, I wanna move,” Christen nearly whines._

_The click of her phone camera causes her to smile. Finally. She retrieves her phone and approves of the picture. She quickly posts it on Instagram and then clicks her phone off._

_“Thank you,” Christen speaks softly, placing her phone on the table in between their beds._

_“No problem,” Tobin smiles leaning back against her headboard._

_The silence between them is comfortable, until Christen breaks it._

_“Do you ever think about what you’d be doing in an alternate universe? Like if you had made the decision to play a different sport or not do sports at all? If you hadn’t made the team? What do you think you’d be doing?” Christen asks, looking at Tobin._

_The midfielder pauses for a second, considering her answer._

_“To be honest, no. I think I’m here because it’s where I’m supposed to be. Everyone on the team is here because it’s where they belong. We’ve all made choices and sacrifices to be here. God has a plan for us all and this exactly what we’re supposed to be doing with our lives. I don’t think there was ever really another option for me, for any of us really.”_

_“I guess, but never?” Christen asks dubiously._

_“Never,” Tobin confirms. “Why have you?”_

_Christen nods, “Yeah, well to an extent. Sometimes I think about what would’ve happened if I hadn’t started liking soccer. Like what sport would I have pursued and would I eventually have made my way back to soccer? But other times I couldn’t imagine my life any other way. The experiences and people I’ve met because of this life we live…I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”_

_“Me neither,” Tobin grins._

_“What about after soccer?” Christen prods._

_“I have no idea. I really haven’t thought about it. I know I want to get married, have kids, and settle down. Don’t say anything,” Tobin warns jokingly, effectively cutting Christen’s homeless joke off. “But yeah I’d probably want to do something with soccer. Maybe coach a kid’s team or something? I don’t know.”_

_“It’s weird to think about ten or fifteen years down the line. We’re all going to be scattered across the country, maybe across the globe. We’ll all have our own lives with families. Most of us will probably be married. Gosh, it’s gonna be weird. I mean I hope I’m married and maybe have a few kids by then. Maybe I’ll be a writer or photographer,” Christen contemplates, half to herself and half to Tobin._

_“Well at least you have plenty of time to meet someone and settle down,” Tobin tells her, but it sounds weird and she’s not sure she likes the thought._

_“Yeah,” Christen agrees, “What about you, do you think it’ll be Shirley down the road?”_

_Tobin sighs, “I don’t know. Sure, I love her, but I know things are going to change when I decide to hang up my cleats. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”_

_Christen can sense that this is a sensitive topic for Tobin, “Okay, I think we’ve had enough deep conversation for the day. Sorry, I had to extend my existential crisis onto you. I guess I’m just trying to figure my life outside of soccer out right now. Thanks for sharing with me though, I really appreciate it.”_

_“Don’t worry about it,” Tobin waves her off, thankful that Christen provided her an escape from diving any further into her relationship. It’s weird to talk about Shirley with Christen and she doesn’t understand why, but she does have a theory in the back of her mind that she refuses to admit, so instead she gladly agrees to watch a movie to lift the seriousness of what just transpired._

 ~

She already knew by then, she just kept it bottled up.

Maybe it started in 2013 when Christen had her first cap. Maybe it started when Christen scored her first two goals.

 ~

_Tobin watched as Christen looked around nervously, fidgeting with her hands and bouncing her leg. She made her way over to the younger woman and smiled._

_“Stop. Don’t worry so much, just relax, have fun, and play your game. You’re here because you’re amazing at what you do. I, and the rest of the team, have your back. We want you here and we want you to do well. So go out there and do what Christen Press does: Kick butt and score goals. You’ve got this,” Tobin says, grabbing her shoulders and looking her straight in the eyes._

_Christen takes a deep breath, “Thanks, sorry I’m just, well I have a lot to prove. I’ve worked hard for this cap and now that it’s finally here, I guess I just don’t really know what to do, you know? Like I got the prize, now what?”_

_“Show everyone why you deserve to be here. Make them remember your name,” Tobin replies._

_Christen doesn’t have time to reply because it’s time to walk out onto the field and maybe it’s for the best because she no longer has time to think and dwell on what could go wrong anymore. The nerves creep back in briefly during the national anthems and the team picture, but as soon as the whistle blows, things become easy._

_It becomes soccer. It becomes what she’s known and loved since she was a child. It becomes simple and she is able to play her game. When she scores her first goal, she’s a rush of emotions and all she registers is the mass of bodies surrounding her in congradulations._

_She hugs most of them individually, throwing her arms wildly around Tobin when she sees her._

_“You were right! I did it!” Christen exclaims, pure joy making her voice light and airy._

_“See? You’re doing great, now let’s see if you can get another one,” Tobin smirks, but there’s a promise in her eyes and Christen can’t help but smile back._

_“Serve me a ball and I’ll know what to do with it,” Christen challenges as they split apart, jogging into place for the restart._

_Tobin comes through and serves in a perfect ball after a sequence of great buildup by the team. She knows it’s good as soon as it leaves her foot and when she sees Christen making the run and connecting, she’s already running over to celebrate._

_The hug Christen gives Tobin is passionate and filled with such excitement. It fills Tobin’s core with a warmth and she feels like she’s on fire, but she’s too happy for Christen to worry about it much._

_“Congrats, rookie! A brace in your debut, you really want them to remember who Christen Press is don’t you?” Tobin asks._

_“Well someone told me I should prove I deserve to be here,” Christen winks at her as they get ready for yet another restart. “I want them to know who Christen Press is.”_

_“Going for a hattrick?” Tobin raises her eyebrows._

_“That’s the plan,” Christen smiles blindingly and the effects of it hit Tobin like a tsunami. Despite the sweat and loose strands of hair falling out from her bun, Christen’s never looked better. Her flushed cheeks and broad, childlike grin fill Tobin with a happiness and something she can’t quite place._

_As hard as she tries to recreate that smile again that game, it doesn’t happen. Christen gets an assist, but that smile is nowhere near as radiant as the goal smile, which Tobin promises to recreate as often as she can._

 ~

When she thinks about that day, about that game, she knows it didn’t start there either. It was just the first time she really noticed that her relationship with Christen was different than any other teammate.

Tobin considers that the London Olympics could be when Christen weaved her way into her mind and, consequently, her heart, but even that seems unlikely. She’s known Christen for years having played with and against each other for much of their lives. She tries to remember a time since meeting Christen that this feeling hasn’t been there. She thinks back to Christen’s first call up, back to hanging out with her through Kelley, back to their Pali Blue days, but she can’t remember ever not having this feeling.

Eventually she realizes that it’s been there all along, from the moment they met. Christen has always had this effect on her, but Tobin hadn’t allowed herself to acknowledged it until now.

 ~

_“Watch out for Christen Press,” Anson Dorrance instructs his team as a picture of the young California native is flashed on the slideshow. “She’s one of the most skilled players in the country and she can turn on the jets when she wants. Don’t underestimate her. Even if you think you have her covered, you don’t.”_

_Tobin stares at the screen. She’s heard about Christen through several friends, mainly Kelley who also plays at Stanford with her, and she’s been more than impressed with what she’s heard. But now, seeing a face to match all the stories and descriptions of her, Tobin feels her face heat up slightly. Christen’s pretty. Really pretty. And Tobin isn’t sure what to do with that thought, so she opts to focus on the task at hand: beating Stanford and winning the NCAA title._

_“She’s a scorer and she can rip shots from anywhere around the 18 so don’t let her catch you sleeping,” Anson adds._

_~_

_Tobin celebrates with her teammates, enjoying the elation of victory. She jumps around, splashing her teammates with water, hugging people left and right, and just soaking it all in. When she hears a familiar voice, she turns around immediately to face them._

_“Congrats Tobs,” Kelley says in the most sincere voice she can muster without sounding bitter. Her eyes are slightly red and there are a few tears brimming, but she does her best to hold herself together in front of Tobin._

_“Thanks Kell,” Tobin says, wrapping her arms around her friend. “I’m sorry, you guys played great.”_

_“Yeah,” Kelley murmurs, her voice barely audible._

_“Um, sorry to interrupt, but Coach said the bus leaves in 30 minutes, so we better start showering Kell,” a light voice calls, making both Tobin and Kelley face the speaker._

_“Alright. Oh, hey, Chris, this is Tobin. Tobin, Christen,” Kelley introduces, motioning between them._

_“Hi,” Tobin waves tentatively._

_Christen smiles, but it almost looks like a grimace and her voice nearly cracks when she says, “Hey.”_

_“Good game,” Tobin tries to fill the silence because the tension is thick and awkward._

_“Thanks, you too. Congratulations,” Christen nods, this time with a wider smile. It still doesn’t show any teeth, nor does it reach her eyes. Tobin wonders if a genuine smile would make the girl’s eyes even more enchanting than they already were. She wants so badly to find out, but realizes now isn’t the time, so she just smiles in return._

_“Okay, well we’ll see you around Tobin,” Kelley decides to put them all out of their misery. “Have fun celebrating, but not too much.”_

_“Yes, mom,” Tobin mock salutes. “Bye Kelley. Bye Christen, it was nice meeting you!”_

_“You, too,” Christen replies with a brighter smile and this one seems less forced. Christen’s face lights up just a tad and Tobin gets a glimpse of how hypnotizing the sight is. Tobin wants to see more. She needs more._

 ~

As her eyes meet Christen’s over the fire, _she knows_. She knows why Christen’s been on her mind lately and frequently in the past. She knows why she has shiver running up her spine and goosebumps on her skin. She knows what the feeling welling up in her stomach is. She knows why her chest feels like it might explode at the sight of Christen’s face illuminated by the yellow and orange flames.

She likes Christen more than she should and she’s finally ready to accept it. She’s ready to do something about it. She knows why she feels this way now. She’s felt it all along, since they moment Christen came into her life and Tobin hasn’t been able to shake it.

Tobin isn’t sure she wants to either. She likes having Christen on her mind and she doesn’t mind keeping her there.

Looking around, she notices everyone is distracted and having their own conversations. She stands up, taking a deep breath. Making her way over to the striker, she lightly taps her on the shoulder, “Do you wanna take a walk?”

Christen smiles and nods, “Yeah, let’s go.”

Grabbing onto Tobin’s outstretched hand, she hoists herself up and dusts off any sand that may have stuck to her with the other hand. Tobin doesn’t let go of her hand as they walk toward the shore. The moon is full and bright enough to provide sufficient light for them to see each other and where they’re going.

They don’t talk until the sounds of their friends can’t be heard. When they’re far enough away, Christen begins to speak, “How are you?” The question is cautious because she isn’t sure what’s going on with the midfielder. Christen is more than aware of their entangled hands swinging between them and she’s sure it’s a good thing, but she needs answers.

“Actually, I’m good, really good,” Tobin tells her. And she means it. For the first time in awhile, she feels free and content. She’s accepted her feelings for the girl next to her and she’s ready to do something about it.

“That’s awesome,” Christen says, still unsure what to make of Tobin’s behavior.

Tobin can sense her uncertainty so she decides to go for it, “I know I’ve been weird all night, keeping to myself. I’ve just been lost in my own world thinking of things and trying to figure something out. I guess I’ve been doing that a lot lately.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of worrying, I don’t want you to hurt yourself,” Christen jokes.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t, but I did figure it out,” Tobin grins.

“Well, do you want to talk about it?” Christen probes.

Tobin stops them, pulling Christen so they’re face to face, “Sometimes I get these... _feelings_ . They make me feel weird and _happy_. It starts in my stomach and grows until it feels like my body is being consumed by it. I can feel it everywhere; in my toes, in my arms, in my mind, and in my heart. I was trying to think of what was causing it and when it started.”

“And?”

“Well it turns out I only get the feeling when I see _you_. When I hear about you, talk about you, or am around you, it always happens. And I tried to think of when it started. I thought maybe it was a recent thing and I wish it was because then I wouldn’t feel so guilty, but it’s been longer. It wasn’t Algarve or France, and it wasn’t even your first camp. I can’t ever remember a time when you didn’t have an effect on me, physically or mentally. It’s always been there, it’s always been you. I’m tired of trying to ignore it, I want you to keep having this effect on me because I like the feeling you give me. And I want to be able to experience it everyday,” Tobin pours her heart out.

Christen’s smile is enormous and Tobin thinks that she’s found something even better than her favorite “goal smile.”

“I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels it because it’s the same for me,” Christen softly reveals.

“Really?” Tobin questions, not even trying to contain her smile as she leans closer to Christen.

“From the moment I met you,” Christen affirms.

“Good, then this won’t be weird,” Tobin says, closing the distance between them before Christen can ask what she means.

As their lips meet, the feeling hits Tobin harder than ever. This time she lets it overtake her completely, giving in and welcoming it with open arms. It’s only grown since she met Christen and she’s positive it’ll only continue to grow, but she doesn’t mind. She hopes the feeling that Christen gives her never goes away.

 


	2. Who Knew? (The Feeling II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Inspired by: “All this time I thought I've been giving you hell... when really I've been keeping your head up.” - Christen’s tweet to Birdy referencing “Keeping Your Head Up” requested by sizzle._  
>     
>  _Or The Feeling Part II_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Tobin and Christen loving. I hope you like it and feel free to leave comments and kudos please :)

Christen smiles as she feels a warm hand slide down her arm toward her hand, lacing their fingers together. Her eyes are still closed, groggy from sleep and the warmth of the person spooning her isn’t helping wake her up. All she wants to do is snuggle deeper into the woman’s arms and sleep forever.

As Tobin draws patterns on the back of her hand with her thumb, Christen leans back into her chest slightly turning her head. She opens her eyes slightly, smiling at the midfielder who reciprocates the action.

“Morning,” Tobin’s voice whispers as she pecks Christen’s lips.

“Mmm, good morning,” Christen sighs contently.

She had been imagining this moment for as long as she could remember. For as long as she has known Tobin, she’s struggled with her crush on her. She was so sure nothing would ever come of it, so she kept it to herself as best as she could. Unfortunately, Christen wasn’t the best at hiding her emotions so a few people took notice. As embarrassed as she was when they found out, she was glad Tobin hadn’t been as perceptive because she doesn’t think she would have been able to survive the horror of Tobin not liking her back.

 

_Christen pretended to be asleep, doing her best to even out her breathing when Tobin walked back into their hotel room. The older woman had stepped out into the hall to talk to Shirley without disturbing Christen. She heard Tobin make her way to her bed and climb in, turning off the lamp that provided the only light in the room._

_She didn’t have to wait very long for Tobin to fall asleep and once the midfielder was out, Christen was free to move and think. She hated how she was feeling. She hated the situation, but she couldn’t help it._

_Christen tried so hard to get over her crush on Tobin, but nothing had ever worked. She’d gone out on dates, but everyone she went out with never held her interest the way Tobin seemed to. She hated it because she knew nothing would ever come of it. Nothing could come of it._

_Tobin had a girlfriend and that was about as good as a shark warning to Christen. She wouldn’t be that girl. She respected Tobin and though she didn’t know Shirley personally, she respected her as well._

_Her feelings and dreams of Tobin would never be known to another soul. As much as she wished it would happen, she’d pretty much come to terms with the impossibility of it._

 

Last night seemed like a dream that she thought would never come true. She’d hoped it would of course because that’s how crushes work, she just never expected anything to actually happen. And as happy as Christen is about Tobin liking her, she knows they still have to actually talk about it.

Last night, after they kissed, that’s all they wanted to do. Talking wasn’t exactly on their list of priorities at the time, but now, Christen realizes that they need to. Things need to be cleared up, if not for the sake of their possible relationship, for the sake of her own mental health.

As much as Christen hates overthinking and worrying, she can’t help it. It’s who she is and who she will always be. So when her drowsiness fades, she rolls over to fully face the midfielder in her bed. They hadn’t done anything other than kissing last night as they were both tired. Things were also hazy between them, the line between friendship and more having been blurred long ago.

“You want to talk about it, don’t you?” Tobin guesses, when she sees the serious expression on Christen’s face.

“Yeah, not that I’m not happy, but like why? Why now?”

“I told you, it’s always been there. I guess I tried to hard to keep things professional. I mean you had a girlfriend and then I had a girlfriend and timing just never seemed to be on our side, you know? So for me it was like God trying to tell me something. Maybe we weren’t meant to be anything other than friends and teammates. And for a while I was okay with it, or at least I tried to tell myself I was okay with it,” Tobin tells her, moving a wisp of Christen’s hair behind her ear.

“I can’t believe you liked me,” Christen more to herself than her companion, “I can’t believe Kelley was right.”

 

_Kelley lets her exhausted body flop down onto Christen’s bed in their hotel room. Dawn had worked them to near death and everyone was feeling the effects._

_“Will you help me murder Pinoe?” Kelley groans, unable and unwilling to move so much as a muscle._

_“Yes,” Christen agrees quickly, it almost comes out as a growl._

_“I can’t believe Dawn punished all of us because Pinoe was being an idiot again. We were gonna go out tonight and now I don’t even wanna get up to go to the bathroom,” Kelley complains._

_“If you pee on my bed Pinoe won’t be the only dead one,” Christen warns._

_“Geez, okay I wasn’t going to! But I wanted to go out and dance and drink some booze. It’s been a stressful camp,” Kelley whines._

_“Kelley, you just want to see if you can beat your record of how many numbers you can get in a night,” Christen rolls her eyes at her friend._

_“I’m not denying it,” Kelley shrugs, but her shoulders barely move because everything hurts._

_“At least you’re honest,” Christen laughs._

_“Yeah, so when are you going to be?” Kelley says, wincing as she turns her head to look at Christen._

_Christen’s face scrunches up in genuine confusion, “About what?”_

_“About your crush on Tobin,” Kelley raises her eyebrows, daring Christen to deny what they both know is true._

_Opening her mouth to reply, Christen closes it quickly, unsure how to respond. She weighs her options, but concludes that admitting it would save her the most time and trouble._

_“What do you want me to say?” Christen sighs. “How did you even know?”_

_“Chris, I’ve known you for a long time. I see how you look at her, the way you act around her. I think it’s obvious, but I doubt anyone else knows. I just want you to acknowledge that you like her and talk about it with me. I think you need to talk about it with someone,” Kelley tells her gently._

_“Okay, I like her. What difference does it make? She’s in a relationship and we’re teammates. She doesn’t like me, so I’ll just have to deal. I can handle it, I’ll get over it. That’s it,” Christen tries to keep her voice even. If she keeps herself detached, she can almost ignore the hurt she feels when she thinks about it._

_“Oh, I doubt she doesn’t like you. I think she more than likes you, to be honest. She probably hates herself for it. She loves Shirley, but whenever she sees you or talks to you, she lights up for a split second,” Kelley informs her._

_“Kelley, I think you’ve been heading the ball too much lately and you’re starting to hallucinate,” Christen says doubtfully. “Tobin’s totally in love with Shirley and they’re probably going to get married and have a family.”_

_“Look, I can’t tell the future, but I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Maybe you should at least tell her so you can get that closure,” Kelley suggests._

_“No! That would make everything awkward. We have to play together. If one day she told me she felt the same way, then I would tell her, but since that won’t happen, I need you to keep this between us,” Christen requests._

_“I won’t tell anyone, but Christen there’s always been something between you two and-”_

_“No, Kelley. Maybe in another life, but not this one. Not now. Maybe we had a window, but we missed it. Timing just didn’t work out and I won’t tell her now. She’s happy with Shirley and I won’t do anything to mess with that. It’ll make her feel bad because you know Tobin, she’ll want to be a hero and I don’t want to make her feel guilty for not liking me back. I care about her and her happiness too much for that. If that means I have to suffer a little bit, then so be it. I’ll get over it sooner or later,” Christen explains, her voice distant and melancholy._

_“Oh, babe, you deserve the world. When we can finally move and go out, I’m gonna be your wingwoman and we’re gonna find you someone,” Kelley promises._

_Christen smiles slightly, “Alright, Kell, that sounds good.”_

 

“I think Kelley knew the moment we met. Remember? God, I thought you were so pretty. You were so sad after the game and you tried to smile, but it didn’t reach your eyes. I kept thinking that I wanted to see you really smile. Like your goal celebration smile, you look like a kid on Christmas and it’s my favorite. I wanted to see your face and eyes brighten up. I think she knew when she introduced us that there was something there,” Tobin says, playing with Christen’s hand.

“You’re probably right. I guess I just couldn’t let myself hope that she was right when she told me she thought you might feel the same way. Around that time you got really weird around me and I thought you were mad at me. I kept trying to figure out what I did wrong,” Christen reveals.

 

_“Can I sit here?” Christen asks Tobin, pointing to the open spot at the dinner table next to her._

_“Uh, yeah, sure,” Tobin replies, but there’s something in her voice, an edge that Christen’s never heard._

_“Thanks,” she says, brushing it off and placing her plate full of food on the table and sitting down._

_She’s integrated into the conversation at the table quickly, her teammates catching her up on the details of the prank they want to pull on Abby. She laughs along and makes a few comments, but for the most part she just enjoys the company of her friends. Eventually Julie, Morgan, and Meghan leave after finishing their food, leaving Tobin, Ali, and Ashlyn at the table with Christen._

_The couple get lost in their own conversation, forgetting about the pair sitting across the table. Christen decides to strike up a conversation with the midfielder._

_“How are things in Portland?” Christen questions._

_“Good,” the short reply throws Christen off, it’s not sharp or malicious, just different from the normally chatty and happy Tobin she’s used to._

_“That’s good, I saw you went to Paris. How’s Shirley?” Christen makes another attempt._

_“Yeah, it was good, so is she,” Tobin says, moving her food around on her plate. Christen knows she made a mistake by asking about the Costa Rican because if Tobin was distant before, she’s even further now._

_“Cool,” Christen nods, struggling to find something else to talk about. “So, I’ve been craving frozen yogurt, do you wanna go get some with me later?”_

_“Uh, Cheney wants to talk about something, but maybe another time,” Tobin smiles slightly._

_“Oh, okay,” Christen does her best to cover up her disappointment. “Next time, then.”_

_“Yeah,” Tobin reassures her half-heartedly. “I’m done, so I’ll see you later okay?”_

_“Sure, bye,” Christen sighs._

_“Bye, Chris,” Tobin waves as she walks out of the dining room._

_Christen looks over at Tobin’s plate, only half empty. She hates how strange that conversation was. There was something about Tobin’s attitude and responses that were foreign and she didn’t like it one bit. She tried to think of a reason for why Tobin had acted that way. Was it because of something Christen did? No, it couldn’t be, she hadn’t seen Tobin in over a month. It had to be something else. Maybe it was a family problem, or a girlfriend problem, or a soccer problem._

_Yeah, it was probably something else. At least Christen hoped so._

 

“Trust me, I wasn’t mad at you. I was mad at myself. I think that’s when I started to realize that I liked you as more than a teammate. I hated myself for it because I felt so guilty. I know nothing happened, but knowing that I was even remotely interested in anyone other than Shirley at the time made me feel dirty. I tried to keep you as far as I could so I wouldn’t have to deal with my feelings. I felt bad though, you looked like a kicked puppy whenever I brushed you off. I’m sorry if I made you think that I hated you or like you did something wrong. I just needed to create space between us because I thought it would help make that feeling go away,” Tobin smiles. “It didn’t work though.”

“I’m glad,” Christen smiles placing a kiss on Tobin’s lips. The kiss causes Tobin to smile as well as they savor the flavor of each other.

“Me too,” Tobin whispers when they pull apart.

“Why now? What changed?” Christen can’t help but blurt. She’s curious and really she needs to know for her own sanity. She has to hear Tobin assure her that this isn’t just a fling.

Tobin smiles, grabbing Christen’s hand and interlocking their fingers, “I loved Shirley, I really did and she helped me accept that you and I weren’t going to be anything. For a few years, I was able to keep you at an arm's length and even though it sucked, it worked. Well, to an extent. I wasn’t sure how to deal with my feelings for you, so I chose to ignore them. I thought it would slowly fade, but it didn’t. It got worse. Eventually I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t pretend anymore. It wasn’t fair to Shirley, it wasn’t fair to you, and it wasn’t fair to me.”

Tobin sighs before continuing, “After Shirley and I broke up, I guess I needed to get myself together. I needed to regroup, reevaluate things. I’d spent three years with a wonderful person and suddenly it was over.”

Christen knows this conversation isn’t easy for Tobin. She knows how much the Costa Rican player meant to her, so she brings their hands up to her lips and places a kiss on the back of Tobin’s hand, trying to give her the strength to continue.

“I was sad that I’d lost that relationship. She helped me through a lot. But once it was over, I felt almost lighter. I thought about you a lot. For the first time I was able to think about you in this way and not feel like an asshole. I was able to think about the possibilities and the future. It was hard coming to terms with that chapter of my life ending. It was bittersweet, but the thought of something like this right here happening, made it better,” Tobin finishes.

Christen blinks back tears, afraid that she might wake up from her dream.

“I realized that Shirley and I were only meant to cross paths, never to stay together for very long. I think she and I were going in different directions. She taught me about myself and what being in a relationship is like, but I don’t think we were meant to be forever. I think it was always supposed to be you. Our relationship ran its course and I’m forever grateful for that part of my life. Things just changed. You were a part of it, but I think it was going to happen regardless,” Tobin tells her. “I think I always knew it deep down too. Remember when we were in France last year? When you asked if I thought I could see myself marrying her and all that later in life? I told you that I didn’t know. But I did, I just didn’t want to admit it. I couldn’t see that for me and her. I hated that and I tried to convince myself that maybe it would come later on, but it didn’t.”

“I’m sorry for causing all this trouble,” Christen bites her lip, feeling like she may have made Tobin’s life a huge mess.

“Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything. Trust me, you aren’t a problem. You’re far from it,” Tobin tells her. “I want this, I want you. You make me happy, don’t doubt that. Ever.”

“Are you sure?” Christen’s voice is soft and childlike.

“One hundred percent. I promise, this is was always the way it was supposed to be,” Tobin says, dead serious. ‘It’s ridiculous how much you make me feel like a teenager with a crush, but I never want it to end.”

Christen giggles, “Do I give you butterflies?”

“Absolutely,” Tobin confirms with a kiss.

“Good, I didn’t want to be the only one,” Christen mumbles against Tobin’s chapped lips. Christen doesn’t mind the roughness against her much smoother ones, it tingles and burns in the best way imaginable.

“Trust me, you do way more than give me butterflies babe,” Tobin stares into the mesmerizing grey-green eyes of the striker, her hand brushing the side of Christen’s face.

Christen licks her lips and smirks, “Do I make you feel like a horny teenager?”

Instead of replying verbally, Tobin pulls Christen’s face toward her, pressing their lips together again. This time it’s less gentle, almost aggressively needy. Tobin pushes Christen onto her back, hovering over her, lips dancing together in a steady rhythm.

Christen’s hands entangle themselves in Tobin’s hair as the midfielder leaves a trail of kisses from her lips to the nape of her neck, pausing a few times to nip and suck on the warm skin. Christen moans, gripping Tobin’s hair and pulling lightly.

Tobin pulls away, straddling Christen. She grabs the woman’s hands, pulls her up, and pulls at the hem of her shirt in a silent question. She won’t do anything if Christen doesn’t want to.

Christen doesn’t even hesitate and pulls the t-shirt off herself, the cool air instantly shriveling her nipples.

“Fuck,” Tobin curses silently at the sight of the half naked beauty in front of her before crashing their faces together in another kiss, hands roaming all over Christen’s body, exploring every curve and crevice. They make their way to her breasts, massaging them in a way that drives Christen insane. When Tobin pinches her right nipple lightly and then flicks it, Christen thinks she might come then and there, but thankfully she manages to hold herself together a little while longer.

It’s Christen’s turn to let out a string of profanities when Tobin’s warm mouth replaces her fingers. She grips the sheets, as Tobin’s tongue expertly swirls around the nub of nerves. She honestly doesn’t know how she doesn’t let go when Tobin’s teeth graze the skin, pulling slightly. Tobin does the same to her other nipple, while her hand goes back to playing with the one she left.

“Holy shit,” Christen groans as Tobin leaves wet kisses all over her body, zigzagging her way toward the waistband of Christen’s shorts.

Her fingers trace the stretchy material. Looking up to meet Christen’s gaze, she gives her another opportunity to stop things from going any further.

“If you stop, I swear to God, I’ll-” Christen doesn’t even finish her threat before Tobin tears off the shorts and underwear on Christen in one quick swipe. She tosses them over her shoulder, not caring where they end up. Christen wouldn’t be needing them for a while, if ever again, anyway.

Christen swallows, staring up at Tobin, her body shaking in anticipation. Her senses is on high alert, slight goosebumps forming under the intenseness of Tobin’s ogling. Every fiber of her being feels like it’s burning, but the nothing is hotter than the heat between her legs. She tries to close them, but when Tobin sees them move, she quickly grabs on and pushes them apart.

As she lays there, her legs thrown open, stark naked, and her sex in Tobin’s face, Christen thinks about the vulnerability of the situation. Strangely, this feels like anything but vulnerable. Maybe with anyone else, she’d feel slightly uncomfortable, but with Tobin, Christen feels safe.

Tobin crawls forward, her fingers ghosting teasingly over Christen’s skin from her ankles to the middle of her thighs. She places a kiss on Christen’s left thigh where the trail of her fingers ended. She moves closer to where she knows Christen wants to be kissed agonizingly slow. She places a warm kiss right next to it, only to skip over to the other side and moving her kisses in the wrong direction.

“Do. Not. Tease. Me.” Christen grits out, trying not to scream. She can feel a pool forming between her legs and she wants something done about it immediately.

“Me? A tease? Never,” Tobin smirks, licking her lips.

“ _T_ _obin_ ,” Christen warns.

“Yeah babe?” Tobin asks innocently.

“Don’t make me beg,” Christen whines, needing a release.

Tobin just laughs, she had only planned to make the striker suffer for a little bit. She didn’t want their first time to be like that. They needed to learn about each other and get used to each other’s bodies and preferences.

Christen mistakes Tobin’s laughter as a signal that she’ll have to beg, “Plea-FUCK!”

A groan accompanies her exclamation as she arches her back and spreads her legs as far apart as she can. Tobin’s breath tickles her and the midfielder’s tongue slides all over her slick, wet slit.

“Oh my God,” Christen breathlessly says, her legs wrapping around Tobin’s head. Her hands find their way into Tobin’s hair pulling it. Tobin’s tongue is magical and when it touches her clit, Christen knows she’s close to unraveling.

When Tobin catches the bundle of nerves between her teeth gently and then sucks on it to soothe the harshness, Christen is pushed over the edge. Her head falls back onto her pillow, eyes closed in absolute bliss as she rides the waves of her high. Her legs feel like jelly, not used to the feeling of an orgasm. It’s been a long time since she’s been intimate with anyone.

Christen’s smile doesn’t leave as Tobin unwraps Christen’s legs from holding her in place. The midfielder licks her lips, cleaning any drops of Christen’s juices she might have missed.

“Wow,” Christen says, still in a daze. Tobin smiles cockily, kissing Christen on the lips.

Tobin lets out a surprised squeak when she feels Christen take control and flip them over.

“My turn,” Christen grins deviously.

“Up,” she commands. Tobin does as she says, raising her arms to allow Christen to remove her shirt.

Christen taps Tobin’s hip and repeats, “Up.”

Tobin lifts her hips and Christen slides the Nike shorts and boyshorts down her tan legs. Tobin’s excitement practically radiates off her as she enjoys the bossy side of Christen Press.

Christen wastes no time going to work. She attacks Tobin’s neck, on a mission. She wants to leave a mark, something that seals the deal. Tobin can feel the bruise forming, but the pleasure she feels far outweighs any worries she has about it.

Once Christen is satisfied with herself, she moves on, placing kisses any and everywhere on Tobin’s body. She repays the favor by also giving oral attention to Tobin’s chest.

Her kisses are sloppy and rushed because she wants to get to the good part. She doesn’t have the patience to prolong this for either of them, she wants to taste Tobin in the most intimate way possible. No, she _needs_ to.

She throws Tobin’s legs over her shoulders and shoves her face into Tobin. She licks, slurps, and swirls her tongue around, goaded on by Tobin’s moans. Christen has never felt this much power, this much satisfaction. Hearing and feeling the reaction of Tobin has because of her is enough to get her wet all over again.

Christen allows her tongue to roam around for a bit, but then brings her hand up to help. She moves her tongue to Tobin’s clit as she slips a finger into her. Christen nearly comes herself when she looks up at Tobin.

“More,” Tobin grunts out, “don’t stop. I’m almost there.”

Christen listens, adding another finger, but she opts to watch Tobin lose control, so instead of using her mouth, Christen uses her thumb to rub the sensitive ball of nerves. It takes a minute, but Christen is rewarded with the most beautiful sight she’s ever witnessed.

Seeing Tobin with her hair spewed everywhere, mouth formed in the shape of an O, eyes hooded in desire and euphoria because of her is something Christen knows will never get old. Sitting up on her knees, she licks her fingers, eyes never breaking contact with Tobin. She let’s them go with a “pop” that stirs something in Tobin.

The next thing Christen knows, they’re back at it. They spend the day in bed, pleasuring each other and pushing their limits. They put their stamina and world class athleticism to good use as they commit every inch of each other to memory. Nothing else matters and they ignore everything and everyone else in the world, only focusing on each other.

When they finally exhaust themselves, they lay in bed snuggled together, basking in ecstasy. Christen can’t help but think how different this is than that night she laid in bed wondering if this would ever happen. She didn’t think this would ever become a reality, but life works in mysterious ways.

She feels Tobin press a kiss onto her forehead and she’s pretty sure this high will never end. With a smile on her face she falls asleep in her girl’s arms, wrapped in love. She’s glad things worked out and she sends a silent prayer up thanking God for blessing her with the woman she’s sharing a bed with.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any quotations that you really like or even certain lyrics that make you think of Preath feel free to leave suggestions in the comments. I really appreciate comments and kudos, so feel free to leave both :)


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